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     One comment that I hear most often is, “I wish God would talk to me like He talks to you.” Let me just tell you; every time I hear that comment, it releases a deep sadness that oozes into every muscle in my body. People who make those comments have absolutely no idea what is available to them. And because of that, they’re sitting on a treasure chest full of untapped potential with no earthly idea of how to find the key.

     Allow me to encourage you for a minute and speak some truth into those dreams of yours that are collecting dust on the highest shelf of your mind. God does want to speak to you. Do you believe that? He wants a relationship with you so badly that He sent His only son to earth to be brutally tortured and murdered just to give you the option of having a relationship with Him. And yet, we seem to think that our potential with Him ends right there. Where did we get the idea that accepting the gift of salvation is the most God has to offer us in this lifetime? When did we pick up the notion that a close, intimate relationship with Him is only reserved for missionaries and pastors and is not available to “normal people” like you and me? I’m here to tell you right now that those ideas are bogus. They are completely fabricated lies from the pits of hell designed to keep you stuck. Because if Satan can’t keep you from getting saved, his next best strategy is to keep you from unlocking everything that God has for you and bringing a whole lot more people to heaven with you along the way. You see, the enemy likes to play teeter-totter with all of us. He simultaneously tells us that we’re too much and not enough. If you start to drift one way or another, all he has to do is make one little comment to keep you stuck between a rock and a hard place for the rest of your life. 

     Doesn’t that make you mad? Doesn’t that make you feel like a puppet who's being used for someone else’s agenda? I’ll tell you, when I had that revelation, it made my stomach churn. But there is good news. The Son of God came to set you free. He wants to set you free from the chains that the enemy has strapped around your wrists and then tries to convince you that they don’t exist. Once you realize that, there is a whole world of hope at your fingertips just waiting for you to explore it. That’s why John 8:36 says, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” So, let me ask you: Are you ready to be free?

     Maybe you feel like you don't deserve to have a relationship with Him. Maybe you feel like He's been silent throughout your life because He must be angry with you for all of the less-than-perfect things you've done. Sure, you've done your best most of the time, but you still fall short. You do realize that's normal, right? I'm sure you've heard the verse "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23. Did you know that's only half of the verse? Have you ever heard the rest? "And all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." You see, because Jesus died on the cross for you, that standard of perfection has been dropped. The new standard can be found in John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." If you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and believe that He died on the cross for your sins, you've already achieved the new standard of righteousness. Yes, it's that simple.

     Allow me to drive this point home by sharing with you one of the things God taught me through one of our earlier conversations. I was watching TV one night and felt Him nudge me to turn it off so that He could talk to me. I obeyed. "I want to talk to you about what you earn versus what you deserve," He said, "Why don't you tell me the kind of things that you earn?" I thought for a minute and replied, "Well, I guess you could earn money, you could earn people's trust, you could earn people's respect." "Yes," He answered, "Now what do you deserve?" Now, I don't know about you, but I had been in Sunday school all of my life. I knew this answer. I very confidently said, "Nothing. I deserve nothing because I'm a dirty, dirty sinner and apart from you, I am worthless." I sat back in my chair, smiling, feeling as though I had just passed some sort of test. Imagine my surprise when He answered, "Wrong. That was the old you that was separated from me through sin. You're a new creation now, so what you deserve is everything that I paid for with my Son on the cross." Whew! I felt like I had just been hit with a jolt of electricity. What a wake-up call. He continued, "You are royalty. You're a daughter of The King. Daughters of kings don't earn their title. It is given to them simply because of who their father is. It is their birthright." Those few sentences shifted my entire perspective on the way that I related to my heavenly Father. I learned that I don't have to approach Him as some lowly, worthless servant groveling at His feet. I'm expected to approach Him as His daughter, with all of the love and authority that is attached to that title. I want you to begin to approach Him the same way.

     In addition to approaching Him as a child, I also want you to approach Him with expectancy. Remove the words "I can't hear God's voice" from your vocabulary. Hearing Him takes faith that He will speak to you. If you think you won't hear anything, then you won't be listening. You remember the story of the fishermen, don't you (Luke 5 and John 21)? The one where they had been out fishing all night and hadn't caught anything. Suddenly, Jesus shows up on the scene and asks them to go back out and throw out their nets again. They very easily could have said, "No way. We won't catch anything. I know because I've already tried." It took faith for them to be willing to get back out there and try again. That faith paid off when they hauled in so much fish that their nets were breaking. If you don't put your net into the water, you won't catch any fish. Just because you've tried to hear Him before and didn't hear His voice doesn't mean you never will. You just have to have the courage to try again.

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HOW TO HEAR HIS VOICE

 

     The first thing that I tell people when they say that they want a deeper relationship with God is that you need to learn to hear His voice. My mom taught me how to do this when I was a teenager, and I still consider it to be the most fundamental part of my faith to date. I’ve experienced miracles and had radical encounters with God, but if I were unable to hear His voice, I think I would probably feel a lot like a sailboat without a sail, just drifting through life hoping I end up somewhere nice. Once you’re able to hear His voice for yourself, you begin to develop a sense of direction. You’ll notice that He begins to gently guide you and teach you as you move about your journey. You still may not know exactly where you’re headed, but you’ll know what direction you’re going. There’s a sense of divine purpose attached to the ability to hear His voice. There’s a sense of relief that comes with knowing that He is steering the ship and you no longer have to remain adrift. 

     At times, I've seen people shy away from the pursuit of God's voice because they feel as though they have to get their ducks in a row first. Let me assure you that you are completely free to come as you are. You don't have to stop sinning, read your Bible, fix your relationships, or join a church before you're able to come to Jesus. Our idea of the way relationships should be set up has kind of warped our idea of how we interact with God. We think that we have to know Him super well before He interacts with us, kind of like how we think that we have to date someone for a while before they'll propose. What we're forgetting is that God already knows everything there is to know about us. In Jeremiah 1:5 God says, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." In fact, the Bible also says that God's thoughts about us outnumber the grains of sand. (Psalms 139: 17-18). Whoa. I would think that someone who thinks about me that often is already in love with me. You don't have to convince God to fall in love with you, He's already there. Despite your flaws, despite your shortcomings, the maker of the universe is absolutely obsessed with you. All He wants you to do is come to Him and allow Him to show you that. 

     James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." Before you do anything, I would encourage you to ask God to reveal Himself to you. Our Father wants to be known by His children, and He's not going to withhold Himself from you if you diligently seek Him. Sometimes it just takes a little practice. I want to introduce you to the exercise that honed my ability to hear from my heavenly Father. You’re going to need a notebook or some loose leaf paper and two different colored ink pens. In the first color, I want you to write out your prayers to God. And I mean really pour your heart out. Get raw and get honest. Bring Him your troubles, your worries, your thoughts and your emotions. “Cast all of your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7. Once you feel like you’ve gotten to a stopping point, switch ink pens. Then you’re going to sit and listen. You’re going to wait until a thought pops into your mind and you’re going to write it down. Even if you think it’s your own thoughts, just write it down. Keep writing and listening until you feel satisfied with the response to your prayers.

     By this point, you should have two pretty lengthy entries, so it’s time to start separating your voice from God’s voice. This is where I want to step in and remind you that hearing God’s voice takes practice and you’re not going to get it overnight, so I don’t want you to get discouraged. 

     I once heard a story about a woman who was a speech and language pathologist. She often worked with children who had cochlear implants. On the days where she would turn on the implants so that these children could hear their parent's voices for the first time, she said she noticed a pattern. The parents would often speak the same two things over each of these children. First, they would say their name, and then they would tell the child they loved them. Identity and love. Isn’t that what all of us want to be spoken into our lives? I can confirm to you that the first time I heard God’s voice, He communicated similar things. He spoke about my identity, and He told me how much I was loved. However, if you have a strong sense of identity already, He may communicate to you more about who He is. Regardless, He always speaks love. Keep an ear out for statements with undertones of love. 

     In the story I just mentioned, this woman said that while hearing their parents' voices for the first time was wonderful, these kids still had a lot of progress to make. According to her, children with cochlear implants struggle to distinguish between noises right away. So a knock at the door may sound very similar to a dog barking. They had to spend hours and hours training their ears and their brains to differentiate the sounds they were hearing. It’s no different than learning to hear God’s voice. It’s going to take practice. You’re going to have to put in the time to “fine tune your ear” so to speak.

     I realize that this exercise may make you feel a little silly at first. The enemy will try to convince you that you're crazy, that you're only hearing your own thoughts or that you're not special enough or perfect enough to have a conversation with God. Good thing we've already debunked that approach. The Bible says in John 10:27 (KJV), "My sheep hear my voice." If you are allowing God to shepherd you through this life, that makes you one of His sheep. You can hear Him. Nowhere in that passage does it say "They might hear me," or "They usually hear me." It says that His sheep do hear Him. The only reason why you believe that you can't is because there is a very real enemy trying his best to keep you from your Father. Don't let him win. If Satan can get away with it, he'll even have you questioning if God is real. The Truth doesn't mind being questioned, remember? You have nothing to lose and everything to learn. Push through the awkwardness until you get to a point where your pages are filled with both questions and answers.

     Once you’ve got your completed journal entry, along with what you believe was the response, how do you know if it was God’s voice or not? The first time I did this, I sat down with my mom and we went over the entries. She helped me compare the responses to scripture to see if what I heard aligned with God’s word and His character. As we sat at that dining room table, she would take a statement I had written down and flip through her worn out Bible to find verses that correlated and confirmed what I had heard. If you have a trusted friend or mentor in your life that knows their Bible a little better than you do and has a little more experience with hearing God’s voice, this may be a good time to ask them to help you. This takes vulnerability on your part, letting someone else examine the words that are written on your raw heart, but real community is built on the foundation of vulnerability. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed. That’s exactly where the enemy wants you and we don’t let him win, remember?

     However, if you feel like you don’t possibly have a single person in your life who can help you work through this exercise, that doesn’t mean your situation is hopeless. That’s what the internet is for. Pray over your journal entry and ask God to reveal Himself to you. Then start to do an internet search for Bible verses that correlate with certain keywords or phrases from your entry. Whenever you find one that lines up with what you’ve written, you will have no doubt that the Holy Spirit is speaking to you through those words. Those moments kind of feel like you’ve just unearthed some hidden treasure. It’s a feeling of discovery.

 

WHAT HIS VOICE SOUNDS LIKE

 

     So what does His voice actually sound like? I believe this can be different things for different people. I’ve found that God is extremely intimate. He will often customize our experiences with Him according to our unique personalities. For example, I am a highly creative, highly visual person. I believe that’s why He often gives me images or visions that I see with my mind’s eye. Think of it kind of like a movie playing in your head, almost like a daydream, except you’re not in charge of the movie that’s playing. He also speaks to me through metaphors, stories, and analogies because that’s the way that my brain best makes sense of things. You will most likely find that your relationship with Him is custom tailored to your personality. That’s just how relational He is with His children.

     Now, when I say that I hear His voice, I want you to understand that I’m not hearing an audible voice whispering in my ear from the great beyond. It’s more like a thought that pops into your mind, except you begin to distinguish which thoughts are coming from you and which aren’t. Sometimes He will use words or phrases that I would not use myself. Other times, instead of giving me an outright answer to a question that I’ve asked Him, He will give me a question in response in order to make me think. I know that that’s God, because there’s no way that I could think of the right questions to ask myself in order to help myself come to the right conclusion. If I were able to do that, I’d probably be labeled an absolute genius and, I promise you, I’m not that smart.

     As time goes on, you will start to discover the unique way in which God communicates with you. As you do, it’s important to keep in mind that if it is truly God speaking to you, His voice will never contradict scripture. So if you’re unsure if what you’re hearing is actually biblical or not, just ask Him to give you a scripture to back up what you’re hearing. Remember, the truth doesn’t mind being questioned because it has nothing to hide. If you’re not familiar enough with scripture to have anything brought to your memory, it’s time to start reading, my friend. You cannot rely on what you believe to be the voice of God alone. That is dangerous territory and a breeding ground for the enemy’s schemes. We don’t let the enemy win, remember? And if we’re not going to let him win, we need to have a good defensive strategy against the tricks he tries to pull.

 

WHAT HIS VOICE DOESN'T SOUND LIKE

 

     Speaking of the enemy, let’s chat for a minute about what God’s voice doesn’t sound like. Boy, I could go on a whole rant with this subject, mostly because I felt like I was lied to for so long. I used to have this mean little voice inside my head who told me all kinds of awful things about myself, about what others thought of me, and about what God thought of me. I just thought that that mean little voice was my own thoughts. I thought that that’s what the voice inside everyone’s head sounded like right up until the moment God delivered me from that spirit of deception. 

     If you question whether or not God can speak to you through your thoughts, let me ask you this. Have you ever had an intrusive thought? You know, one of those thoughts that pop into your head that are so horrible you can’t even believe you would think that? I sure hope you’re aware that those thoughts aren’t coming from you. And if those thoughts aren’t coming from you, that means they must be coming from an outside source. God would never give you thoughts like that so deductive reasoning would lead us to assume that that source would be the enemy and his legion of gremlins, right? So if the enemy can send you a laundry list of intrusive, destructive, and hateful thoughts throughout the day, what leads you to believe that the almighty God that we serve would never dare enter the battlefield of your mind?

     Let me tell you something, my friend. God’s voice will never ever bring shame, guilt, condemnation, or rejection.  God's voice grounds us, it's our own thoughts that make us spiral. At worst, His voice will bring forth repentance, which is actually a very good thing. If you don’t understand the difference, allow me to explain.

     We recently adopted some equine. At the time of this writing, we currently have a donkey, a mule, and a horse. Since we had never had these types of animals before, there were a few things I had to explain to my children. I taught them about how it’s important to never approach these animals from behind because if they get spooked, they could kick and injure my child. We’ve also talked about being careful not to get under their feet and how to properly hold treats in their hands so their fingers don’t get bit. As I was explaining these things to my kids, I was doing it in a way so that they understood these rules were for their protection and their benefit, which made them want to listen and obey them. I was not yelling at them and making them feel stupid for not knowing this information that they never could’ve known on their own without my help. I also wasn’t trying to give them a bunch of rules to prevent them from feeling like they could interact with the animals at all. Do you see the difference?

     You know how the Bible says we’re supposed to take all of our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5)? Learning to hear God’s voice is a prime example of that. Each time a thought enters your mind, I want you to snatch it right out of thin air as if you’re grabbing at one of those pesky fruit flies. Take it and examine it. Is this mean, hateful, disturbing, or anxiety-inducing? Chances are that’s the enemy. Is it loving, uplifting, gracious, and kind? Chances are that’s your Father. Is it in line with what I’m currently wanting or hoping for? It could be God, or it could be you. As time goes on, you will be able to tell the difference. 

 

WHEN GOD IS SILENT

 

     Inevitably, there will be times in your spiritual walk where God will go quiet. Before you start spiraling down the rabbit hole of all of the things you could've done wrong to cause this distance, I want to point out a few reasons why God intentionally goes quiet on us. Yes, sometimes it's a strategy of His in order to work things together for our good.

     I was standing in my kitchen one day when God gave me a vision. There was a person trying to follow Him, but they had a blindfold on. They couldn't see Him, they could only hear His voice. He was standing right in front of them saying, "Come to me. I'm right here." The person would take a step forward and God would take a step back, moving in sync with them. "Come to me, I'm right here," He would repeat. They kept moving this way until God took a step back without saying anything. This time, instead of taking a step forward, the person reached out their arms in search of Him. As they did, they discovered that He was still right there, with them the entire time. Those steps that He was taking away from them wasn't to create distance between them, it was to lead them toward their destiny. If we're willing to press in and follow Him even when He goes silent, finding our destiny is inevitable.

     Sometimes, God will instruct us with His voice. He will tell us which direction to move in in order to find Him. Other times, He goes silent. One of the reasons why I believe He does this is because He wants us to reach for Him, to remember that we are dependent on Him to guide us and so that we don't get too comfortable in our own ability to carry out the steps He's having us take. 

     Another reason that He might go silent is because He doesn't want us to believe that we always have to be doing something to please Him. We will talk about rest a little bit later and why that is so important in our walk with Him. In order to have a well-rounded relationship with Him, we have to have breaks built in. And if we aren't willing to take these breaks ourselves, you can guarantee that His silence will forcefully bring you to a halt. Think about little children attending school. They are learning more information than their brains have ever taken in before. Because of that, there are scheduled times for them to rest, play, and participate in other activities. God designed our bodies and He knows exactly what we need when we need it. When He goes silent, you may want to take that as an indication that it's time to shift gears in one form or another.

     As I began writing this book, I had an entire season where it felt like God was way more silent than He normally is with me. It made me very uncomfortable, and it made me miss all of those times when He was so close that I could practically feel Him. I knew that I was doing exactly what He asked me to do, and that I couldn't possibly have done anything wrong to cause Him to withdraw. I knew that wasn't in His character. 

     After I finished my first draft, my family took time to spend a day at the lake. There was a beautiful sandbar where the kids could splash in the water. As my husband was standing with my children, I walked about 20 feet away to a sunny patch of grass where I could lay my towel down and tan my skin. As I sat there watching my children interact with each other, I heard God speak to me. "This is what I'm doing with you. You think I've left, when really I'm just a few feet away. I can still hear you and see you, but I'm giving you the space to learn how to trust yourself as you accomplish this task I've given you. I'm still right here, I'm just enjoying watching you become more independent." See, I used to think that I needed to ask God's permission for every single solitary thing I did. And while my intentions were pure, that was stifling my growth like a child who refuses to walk unless they're holding their parent's hand. That day, He gave me permission to act on my own and make decisions on my own because I had learned enough about Him to know whether or not I was in line with what He had called me to do. I said, "God, I thought you wanted me to be dependent on you for everything. How can I do that if you're telling me I don't need to ask your permission all of the time?" His response was, "Dependent, yes. Not codependent." Yikes. Because I had spent so much time seeking His validation for the choices I was making, I had stepped into the old habit of finding my worth in approval. As our Father, God wants to empower and uplift us. With time, you'll learn that while He's teaching us how to trust Him, He's also teaching us how to trust ourselves.

     My son is currently five years old. His sister just turned two. Because of her age, she still needs me to do a lot of things for her, and because of his age, I'm expecting my son to do more and more on his own. At first, he was hurt by that. He was upset that his sister seemed to be getting the most amount of attention. Until one day, I flipped the situation on its head. I started praising my son for all of the things he was able to accomplish by himself. Whenever he was in earshot, I would say things to his sister like, "Your brother is such a big boy for getting himself dressed. One day, you're going to be able to do that all by yourself too!" My goal was to help him see that maturing is the goal. Of course, we still need to follow God's guidance, but if I ask my son to get himself dressed, I'm expecting him to do so without asking for my approval for each and every article of clothing he picks out. So long as you are in line with what God has instructed you to do (either through His spoken or written word), then you do not need to ask His permission for every single solitary thing. That's called codependency, and that is not what we're aiming for. 

 

WHEN YOU HEAR HIM WRONG

     There’s one last thing I want to leave you with for the day. As you set out on this pathway of discovering God’s voice, there are going to be times when you get it wrong, and that’s okay. God’s not going to smite you for pursuing Him incorrectly. Think of it like hearing the lyrics of a song incorrectly. When I was younger, there was this country song that used to come on the radio called “That’s What I Love About Sunday.” Towards the end of the song, there is a line that says, “New believers getting baptized.” But for the longest time, I thought it said, “Little Ebert’s getting baptized.” I would belt that song at the top of my lungs every time it came on the radio until one day my older brother laughingly pointed out that those were not the right lyrics. However, in my mind, the way I sang it made sense to me. Throughout the song, it listed specific people. “Raymond’s in his Sunday best,” “There’s the Martin’s walking in,” “sweet Miss Betty likes to sing off key.” It only made sense that there would be a sweet little Ebert in this story. But alas, Ebert was a figment of my imagination; something I had concocted all on my own. And yet, when I got the lyrics wrong, nobody made me feel bad about it. In fact, it became a hilarious joke that the entire family still talks about decades later. I’d like to think that God approaches our mistakes with the same amount of humor. Trust me, He’s just glad you’re trying.